Sunday, July 27, 2014

A Pretty Picture Post: Beautiful Ideas

I didn't feel like writing my book review yet, so I decided to do a picture post instead. This kind of has a theme. There are a lot of pictures and they are not only nice pictures (and some are moving), but they are all pictures that to me represent a "beautiful idea". And by beautiful idea I mean that these images represent something that is either completely fantasy or that could be difficult to achieve/obtain by my standards. Not all of these ideas are completely out-of-limits, but for me they are not far off that- At least at the moment. 

I guess you can choose to interpret it as you will. You can try to figure out each picture if you like or just appreciate the beauty. For me it's small things like wearing heavy necklaces all day to things like driving on a winding road without guard rails to things like meeting new and exciting people I would go on a crazy adventure with. And, of course there are fantasy things like the charmed clip.

I've been getting in a bit of a mood lately. Writing negative Facebook statuses and then deleting them shortly after. I've been contemplating writing a bit of a blog post about what it is that's bothering me, but then I feel like people will think I am complaining about nothing. I'm sure it will make me sound so pathetic or that it will reflect on me as a human being. I am sure that I am probably too picky and that I completely suck at communicating with people. And of course I never want to offend people on the odd chance that they actually care more about me than I think they do. 

Basically, my only friends are my Mum, my Dad and my sister. There are a few older people I know through my parents, through work etc, but I am not mega close with them. I don't know their favourite movies or books and most of the talk usually revolves around politics or weather. I have a few sort-of-internet-pen-pals and I did have a few friends in high school, but they left town. I stopped talking to my only close friend at least 18 months ago since I realised that we had both changed a lot and the friendship wasn't really working. I have tried a few times to be social, but it usually doesn't work out great. One, because I am not very good at being social. Two, because of my strong opinions about alcohol (I think people think that I am like an AA member or something because I hardly touch the stuff. I don't completely despise it, I just don't feel like I need it to have fun.) and clothing. Three, because I am a little left of centre and I don't tend to keep up with the latest and greatest. I try not to push my opinions onto other people, but you can see how a friendship between people who disagree on these matters can be problematic (especially if they are pushy). 

After giving up on these endeavors to find friendship I found myself being interested by numerous hobbies and having less time for people anyway. That's all good and fine until you are watching movies where characters go on romantic dates or reading novels where a girl has the best friends she could ask for. You can't help feeling like you are missing out and feeling a little bit lonely. In this small town it can be a little hard to make friends, especially when most people just assume that you've got this awesome group of people to go out with at night or to hang out with at the beach. I wish. I started going to dance classes for exercise but I also thought it would be a fun way to make friends, And class got cancelled after approx 4 lessons because everyone else stopped going. 

I don't want people to feel sorry for me or to drag me along to their social outings out of sympathy. I have a theory that the people I am most likely to get along with are probably hermits too. They probably don't go out much and for that reason we will probably never meet. I have never been overly popular during school anyway, so it's not like it's a huge change. I never used to have big birthday parties. I have never been sporty. I remember one year I spent more of my time at school talking to teachers than I spent with the kids in my grade. I also remember bringing a 'Jazz Cafe' CD to school and the teacher played it to the class while the students covered their ears. At the time I was offended that they weren't open to new things, but now I just laugh when I remember...

So that's that. It's not a huge deal really. I guess it mainly bothers me when there is an event on and I don't get to go because I don't have the confidence to show up by myself. When it really starts to bother me the best thing to do is to express myself through an artistic outlet (there are so many) like writing kooky songs (which I am really enjoying lately) and by dancing to The Cure in my bed room. You have not lived until you have danced like an idiot to weird grunge music in a confined space...

Anyway sorry for all the words. Here are the pictures:

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I will try not to delete this post. I will try not to bore you with this subject in the future. Book review soon I promise.

Your Favourite Blogger,
Natalie

3 comments:

Jessica Cangiano said...

Don't delete this post, honey. It's cathartic and important to get things like this off your chest and out in the open.

You are not alone on this front at all, I promise you. Lots and lots (you'd be surprised, believe me) of people, of all ages, don't excel at socializing and don't have a ton of friends.

I'm a hard core introvert, HSP (highly sensitive person), and have always had a bit of social anxiety, wasn't overly popular in school (and was bullied mercilessly),plus I don't (or rather, can't, due to medical reasons) drink and can't eat a staggering number of foods (also due to medical reasons), so that puts a lot of shallow people off right from the get-go.

It doesn't phase me at all though any more, because I know that I don't want to be around anyone who doesn't want to take the time to understand me and realize that I have some limitations on various fronts.

Most (not all, but a good chunk) of my friends are online these days and that's a-okay with me. I care about them as much as I do my real world ones and love that I can stay in touch with them 24/7.

You may find it helpful to engage in further social activities, like the the dance class you were attending, that surround you with other people from all walks of life (such as volunteering, various groups at a place of worship if that applies to you), being a Girl Guide leader, helping out an animal shelter, taking other kinds of lessons or courses, or even starting a group of your own prove to be good ways to make new friends.

One thing I learned early in life is that it's wise to look for friends beyond your own age bracket, too. Some of my closest are decades older than me and yet we hit it off as though we shared a birth year.

The important thing to always remember is that there's nothing in the slightest wrong or unusual with you if you don't have a million friends (or go out all that often). Few people, save for some famous folks and major extroverts that are really likable tend to actually have tons of friends, especially after high school wraps up.

You're awesome just as you are and I want you to know that you can always count me amongst your friends, if you like.

Understanding & hugs,
♥ Jessica

♥ Jessica

Natalie_vintage_girl said...

I have tried with different groups and stuff but there isn't really much on offer in this town. Especially stuff that I'm interested in and I don't want to just do stuff for the sake of meeting people, because if i don't meet people i still want to be interested in what i am doing. Dance class was great, but it got cancelled and the other dance studio didn't have an adult class.

I have no issues with getting along with people from any age though I do find that a lot of older people don't want to be friends with me because I am younger.

I think the problem is that I don't really want to send out any kinds of offers or invitations because I know I will get stood up or rejected (or I will end up waiting around for an hour and a half). So I give hints, but noone catches on, or they pretend not to...

I'm hoping something will come up. I'm trying to make more of an effort to get out of the house. Even if that means walking at the park by myself or going opshopping. I think everyone is just so caught up in their own world these days they don't think about making new friends.

Natalie_vintage_girl said...

Thanks for the kind words though XOXO